No Manners!

OK, I have expressed this before, but I am kind of socially awkward in some situations. I have found that I can fool allot of people into thinking I am super outgoing, I am not! That is my other siblings, I am the observer, sit on the side and not collect allot of attention. I grew up in a huuuuge extended Catholic family so I have learned to put myself outside of my comfort level in many different situations. I also am a super sensitive person. I totally recognize this about myself and try to always put things into somewhat more normal proportions. My sounding board to do this with is usually my sister Kim who is not on the over sensitive side. She will be the most honest and tell me to just let go of it. I love that about her!!




So being overly sensitive, and socially awkward I am not one to join a bunch of school groups (PTA) and so forth. Or I should say I join but do not participate in the meeting portions of the group . I do volunteer and will do any project that they need help on, but I just cannot force myself to go sit in a meeting with a Cliquey bunch of women. It makes me feel like a child again, sitting on the outside and never quite in there. The funny part is that I know a lot of these women and speak to them on a regular basis at school, but that Clique factor is still there no matter how many times they publish a letter saying THEY are not like that! HMMMMM


So it all comes down to making me uncomfortable enough that I am going to write this post. I am like an ostrich and would rather bury my head in the sand than deal with uncomfortable situations. I will actually let people make me feel bad rather than confront them, but only for so long. I see now where Colton gets his temper while playing soccer. You can push him a couple times, but just know when he has had enough, you are going to be the one who is on the ground when he is done. I am a little the same way, I will take things for quite awhile, but after so long I will not take it anymore.


Here is the issue. Apparently our school has a group of moms that meet for coffee on a regular basis. A lot of them are the PTA moms, it seems. I volunteer with two of the moms Monday through Wednesday for about a half hour each day. One of the moms brought up inviting me to the group while we were all working together (talk about uncomfortable, insert here!!) the other mom just did not reply at all (the exact conversations was "( So and so tell Tami about our coffee group!" and then dead silence, no acknowledgment at all) . Okay, if that isn't a crunchy feeling! The subject was quickly changed to something else.


If they knew me, they would know I don't really like to do those social things anyways, and I would not have taken them up on the offer. Just in case you think I am a total loser, I do have a large social group that I am friends with, so I am not totally socially incompetent, wink, wink!

So after that uncomfortable encounter about not being invited to the COFFEE GROUP, I let it go, no big deal. Then in three more situations, with the same ladies and another mom, the Coffee Group is brought up and discussed in front of me among these 2 or 3 ladies and just me, no one else is there. They talk about how much fun it is, are you going, lets meet up.........and yada yada yada, all while we are standing together. Now I am to the point I just think it is downright FLIPPING RUDE! (Notice Mom I did not use that word you hate, but I might be thinking it :)

Isn't one of the first things you learn as a kid that if you are not going to include someone in something than DON'T TALK ABOUT IT IN FRONT OF THEM! It is certainly one of the things I have taught MY children. Maybe some adults need to revisit this lesson... just saying!

The funny/not so funny part about this whole thing is, that our membership for PTA is dropping like a rock, at a school that used to have a very large membership. So at the beginning of the year the PTA president (who may or may not be one of these women) wrote a letter saying how they encourage others to join and participate in the PTA, and they are not a Clique. I think this is one of those exact moments if you could take a picture and send it to back to that group so they could see their REAL PICTURE, they might be surprised how they look to us on the outside looking in.

I know everybody has things they are good at, and things that they are not so great at. I totally embrace these things about myself, hence telling everyone in the world that I am socially awkward. BUT if you are in charge of a group, or really, even a member of the group, even if you also feel socially inadequate, it is YOUR DUTY!! to help others feel invited and comfortable when joining your group (especially if you are begging for people to be involved in said GROUP)!!

Sigh, I am brushing it off again. The dumb part about all of this is, that I let it hurt my feelings EVEN THOUGH I really (and I am honestly not just saying this) really don't want to, and never would go to this type of thing. I would just like people to have some common MANNERS!

How about THIS people, you EXERCISE your right to not say anything at all.

Okay, I feel much better now that I have gotten this off my chest. I can avoid being a Bitch to these ladies. I can chalk it up to either they are RUDE, INCONSIDERATE, or just plain..... so many things I could say, just insert your own thought here. In which case none of the above is a reflection on me.