Thursday, October 8, 2009

SOCCER, SOCCER, SOCCER

Mariah said she feels like she lives at the soccer field in this picture.

Colton wishes he lived on a soccer field!

So this soccer season has been a real challenge for me. First off, I have discovered that I am more competitive than I would like my siblings to know.... SHHHH! Both my younger kids are in a select soccer program. Colton has been obsessed with soccer since he was a baby. All those years of being on the sideline for his brothers soccer games gave him a true love of the game. There is rarely a time that boy does not have a ball at his feet. He would dribble the ball up and down the sideline while his brother was on the field. He kicks it through my house (even though the rule is no balls in the house!!) annoying his sister at every turn/kick. Mariah loves soccer, sometimes I think only because her brothers do, but still it is the only sport she wants to play.

In my house the kids are required to be involved in some sport or physical activity. Each of them has chosen soccer as their activity, after trying multiple other sports, and dancing for Mariah. For all of you with kids in sports or any activity you know about the politics involved. The higher the competition the more politics it seems to involve. It is horrible being the parent and trying to navigate through this mess we adults create, there should really be some guide to help us out. Colton is my first child involved in select so it has been a true learning experience these past few years. This is Mariah's first year in the program and she is loving it, especially her coach.

The only club Colton has wanted to play for since starting select is the one he is at. He is on the B team, but striving for the A team. We have had a lot of problems on his team this year. It is like the A team is the all important team and the B team is the forgotten kids. There was a high turn over rate, players not really meshing together and the other usual team problems. As in every club (I am discovering) promises were made at the beginning of the season and not followed through on. Promises that they would move players between teams, and practice both squads together to help the B team prepare to move up. The usual things these clubs promise, others are just better at following through on them.

Those of you who know me, know that I am a bit of an ostrich when it comes to confronting issues. I really don't like to complain, it makes me uneasy. I like to bury my head, and hope upon all hope, it will fix itself. That will last for only so long, and then it is like an explosion, and my head pops off and starts spinning around....I am sure that is what my family sees. Especially if you are messing with my kids. So after listening to all the Dads on the team bitch and moan about the issues, I couldn't take it any more. I did the last thing I really like to do. I confronted the issues with our coach and the Directors of our club.

Thanks to a little motivation from my husband, my Mom and my sister Kim. I forced myself to compose a letter. Kim helped me revise it and I got the courage (that was probably more the anger) up and emailed the letter off. I addressed the issues I saw happening and some specific ones that involved Colton, and the position he plays. I am always hesitant to do this just because I worry that it will be Colton that is punished in the end. I was very skeptical that it would even make a difference. My experience so far had been that they just blow you off and tell you they are the coaches and they make the decisions, even though I am the person paying their salary!

I would like to say I am very happy with the results, thus far. A few other parents spoke up (but not the most vocal complainers!) and voiced their opinions, and backed up what I had to say. Our coach actually answered back and said sorry that he was unapproachable. He told me that Colton is a real trouper and willing to play whatever position he is asked. He acknowledged that Colton has been asking to play a different position, which is huge. I tried to address him last year and got the response listed above. The players Director and the A team coach actually contacted me and the other parents. It actually looks like they will be following through on some of their promises to these boys. That is MY biggest complaint, don't make promises or suggestions and then not follow through with kids. They take this to heart and get so disappointed and less trusting when that happens.

I can't express enough how much happier I am now. For me it is a huge deal that I actually stood up and said my peace. The older I get the better I am getting at doing this. I am a people pleaser and I don't like to make waves. I want everyone to be happy, but I have discovered that if I am not happy than it really doesn't matter if the others are happy or not. I feel like now I can face this losing soccer season and be happy with the progress each of my children are making in their sport.

Ahhhh so much better than being angry every time I leave the soccer field. Especially seems that I am spending 5 out of the 7 days of my week at the fields. Makes everyone in my house a little happier too, just ask my husband!