Monday, January 20, 2014

Proud Parent Moments

Every once in a while one of those proud parent moments hit, and I realize I am doing a good job as a parent. If you are a parent you know the doubts that are there everyday, wondering if you are doing things right and hoping your kids are going to turn out to be functional, loving, and caring adults. It is always a work in progress and never easy, or a sure thing. There are days I am sure that I have screwed them up completely, and then there are days like the ones below where I know they are going to be as amazing as I already think they are.


My first one recently was my oldest Anthony. Anthony came to his dad and I, he and told us his plans for asking his beautiful girlfriend to marry him. He planned it all out as a surprise for her, he bought the ring, planned the night, asked her parents permission. On their 6 year anniversary he took her to their special place and proposed. My heart is bursting with the love and pride I feel for both these kids. So happy that Melaina will be an official member of our small family, I already call her my daughter-in-law so this will just be making it legal. They are on their way to a beautiful life together and I could not be happier to be a part of their journey. They are both such amazing people and they are setting great examples for his siblings.

 

Next one is one of those proud parent moments that also comes with a teaching moment. My middle son Colton stood up for his sister against someone that was saying things they should not have been. We were at a wrestling tournament with many schools. It just happened that a boy was saying some inappropriate things about Mariah while sitting in the same section as Colton and his team. I am not completely sure on what really went down. What I do know is this, Colton confronted the kid, words were exchanged and the other boy said things he probably should not have. They ended up having to wrestle each other in a match. Unfortunate for the other boy, in the fact that Colton clearly not only won the match, but showed the boy a reason why you don't talk about another wrestlers sister. Sadly Colton lost his temper and was disqualified for talking some smack to the kid. It is a hard lesson to learn, when it is appropriate to say things and when to keep our mouths shut. I know a lot of adults that are still struggling with this lesson, sometimes myself included. Luckily for Colton his coach is awesome and knows how to handle him and speak to him in a way he understands. A hard lesson to learn, to lose a match, but an amazing thing for a brother to do. He had to apologize to his team for losing the match, not an easy thing to humble yourself in front of your peers. He shows me everyday what a caring and loving person he is becoming. I know I can depend on him to watch over his sister, she is a lucky girl to have brothers that will stand up for her.


Finally Mariah, she has been playing two sports right now, one is club soccer and the other is for her middle school volleyball team. She is such a hard worker. During a weekend of soccer she sustained a concussion.  That was a tough one for her. It put her on the bench for both soccer and volleyball and changed her school work and how she was able to do things for a couple weeks. She was a good patient, she is my rule follower, so she did all the things the doctor told her she should do. Once she was healed and released to play again she put her heart back into it. She was so self aware and if she felt that she could not do something, she benched herself to make sure she was not experiencing any other symptoms. Before the concussion she was a starter for the school volleyball team, she played all the way around and did a great job. After her concussion she found that she lost her starting position. She was very upset about this. She went to the coach and asked him about it. He just laughed and said she needed to work harder and he would see about her playtime. She went to practice, put in her time and hard work and was given a little more play time. She was not happy. We discussed it, I told her she would have to speak with the coach again. We are both such non-confrontational people that I felt anxiety just telling her she needed to do this.  Mariah was nervous, did not want to have to discuss it again. She was on the verge of tears but stood up strong and went to her coach to discuss the issue with him. He listened to her. She did a great job expressing herself. She did not cry, which I am so extremely proud of her for, if it was me I would have cried through the whole conversation. Although it may not have changed anything, she did it. She stood up for herself, said what was on her mind and handled herself so well. I am so proud of her and her ability to overcome her anxiety and fear. I still struggle with this as an adult. She is on her way to being a strong woman that will be able to stand up for herself and speak her mind and I could not be more happy about it.

Today I am happy with my parenting skills, looking back on these moments lets me know that my kids are on their way to being adults that can take care of themselves and their family and friends. I know they have learned the meaning of love, family and self esteem. They continue to amaze me and fill my heart with joy. I am so happy to have these moments to lift me up when I face those other moments of doubt and guilt that we face as parents. Sometimes I feel like the doubt out weighs the truth, I keep these as a reminder. I might never be the perfect parent but I will always be the joyful parent that is proud beyond measure of the people my kids are becoming.

Happy 2014, cannot wait to see what this new year will bring us all!






1 comment:

Unknown said...

Wow! Congrats on Anthony's upcoming wedding! Congrats also for doing such a great job with your kids. Hard stuff, but you are doing fantastic!