Socially Awkward

Having children makes you reflect on your own childhood sometimes. Mine was fine as they go, nothing extremely bad happened, if you don't count the stop sign glasses I wore for the first 5 years of school life, and the bad haircuts, and big gap teeth (yes I do know why kids teased me but it was still mean)! I have come face to face with the fact that I am socially awkward. Weird to put it in writing and to face it head on (and no surprise after my above description I am sure). I always knew that I was lacking in the social graces somehow, but never had tried to put actual words to it. I had a couple friends which is all that is required but was always on the outside of the large social groups.



It was a revelation on Monday night. Skating party night for our school. I am uncomfortable in social situations! Especially when I have to go and make small talk with people I hardly know. I always get stuck talking to the weird people (I am weird also I am sure, just different weird than the ones I get stuck with). Monday night I did not feel good, Colton had youth group (and apparently 6th grade is WAY to cool for school skating parties anyways), and Mariah really wanted to go. Wonderful husband was (convieniently) working late, so guess who is stuck with the chore. So (being a bad mom) using my mom charms (aka bribery) I offered Mariah a choice, we can go to the skating party, or......we can spend the money for a new Webkinz animal. (OH Mean mommy!) Such a hard choice to have to make. Of course the chance at a new Webkinz was much more intriguing than the skating party, so we now have added Henry the Hippo to our collection. For those of you who don't know what Webkinz are (lucky you!) they are like beanie babies but have a whole web world set up to interact with them.



I feel like I let Mariah down, but it was just one of those days I could not face going and having to come up with small talk. I know a lot of the parents in a casual "Hi how are you" way, but I seem to freeze in social situations and be extremely awkward. I am so happy that so far I have not passed this down to the boys. They are both so outgoing and happy go lucky, every one likes them. I am working hard at not passing this onto Mariah. She is outgoing also, her teacher tells me she is loved by everyone in the class, but she tends to be a worrier. It comes with that perfectionist attitude she has. I am working with her on not worring about what others think of her (one of my biggest issues, from being teased horribly as a kid and my personallity apparently) and being happy with who she is. In todays society it is so hard to be happy with who you are. There is always someone prettier, skinnier, smarter, this is what I tell my kids, BUT there is nobody else that is you! I work on telling myself this each day also, I am hoping by the time I hit 80 I won't care either!