Socially Awkward

Having children makes you reflect on your own childhood sometimes. Mine was fine as they go, nothing extremely bad happened, if you don't count the stop sign glasses I wore for the first 5 years of school life, and the bad haircuts, and big gap teeth (yes I do know why kids teased me but it was still mean)! I have come face to face with the fact that I am socially awkward. Weird to put it in writing and to face it head on (and no surprise after my above description I am sure). I always knew that I was lacking in the social graces somehow, but never had tried to put actual words to it. I had a couple friends which is all that is required but was always on the outside of the large social groups.



It was a revelation on Monday night. Skating party night for our school. I am uncomfortable in social situations! Especially when I have to go and make small talk with people I hardly know. I always get stuck talking to the weird people (I am weird also I am sure, just different weird than the ones I get stuck with). Monday night I did not feel good, Colton had youth group (and apparently 6th grade is WAY to cool for school skating parties anyways), and Mariah really wanted to go. Wonderful husband was (convieniently) working late, so guess who is stuck with the chore. So (being a bad mom) using my mom charms (aka bribery) I offered Mariah a choice, we can go to the skating party, or......we can spend the money for a new Webkinz animal. (OH Mean mommy!) Such a hard choice to have to make. Of course the chance at a new Webkinz was much more intriguing than the skating party, so we now have added Henry the Hippo to our collection. For those of you who don't know what Webkinz are (lucky you!) they are like beanie babies but have a whole web world set up to interact with them.



I feel like I let Mariah down, but it was just one of those days I could not face going and having to come up with small talk. I know a lot of the parents in a casual "Hi how are you" way, but I seem to freeze in social situations and be extremely awkward. I am so happy that so far I have not passed this down to the boys. They are both so outgoing and happy go lucky, every one likes them. I am working hard at not passing this onto Mariah. She is outgoing also, her teacher tells me she is loved by everyone in the class, but she tends to be a worrier. It comes with that perfectionist attitude she has. I am working with her on not worring about what others think of her (one of my biggest issues, from being teased horribly as a kid and my personallity apparently) and being happy with who she is. In todays society it is so hard to be happy with who you are. There is always someone prettier, skinnier, smarter, this is what I tell my kids, BUT there is nobody else that is you! I work on telling myself this each day also, I am hoping by the time I hit 80 I won't care either!

Goodbye Sunshine

The last Saturday of the warm fall. Now the true NW weather has come back with a vengeance. So happy to have made it through almost the whole soccer season no rain!! Thank God for indoor soccer in winter.

Only 66 days till our Mexican Cruise. As you can see I am counting down, even more so now that the rain has come back! SUN, SUN, SUN, I am chanting all my way to the fake and bake to prepare my lilly white skin for the true sunshine. I know the sun in Mexico is going to be hotter than the luke warm sun we feel here, and I CAN'T WAIT!!

Teacher Conferences and THE FALL

Tuesday was teacher conference day for Colton and Mariah. I have to say that I LOVE these conferences now. My oldest was a little hard on the teachers so I would spend most of that time listening to "How great a kid Anthony is BUT", a long list of: he doesn't sit still (he is a boy!), he is restless, doesn't like to read (not everyone does!), is very smart if he would put his effort towards it. I just wanted to SCREAM sometimes. It was always nice when one of the teachers would recognize what a great kid he is. Anthony has such great leadership abilities, so smart, and such a kind person.

I always feel in my heart that I should have waited to start Anthony when he was 6 rather than 5. Both Anthony and Colton are June babies. I feel like it made 100% difference in Colton's school life (so far, we are only half way there! fingers crossed) to start at 6 compared to Anthony's. If only the schools would help guide new parents with that. It always felt like Anthony got everything at the end of the year rather than the beginning. The best part is that he stuck through school all the way to the end and graduated on time. He had to work a little harder than others but he did it. Graduation is one of those moments when you feel such accomplishment as a parent. Hard to believe how proud and what love you feel in those moments.

Now the school conferences are as different as each of my children are. Colton's teachers absolutely adore him. More than one has wanted me to have him tested for the Challenge program in our school district. So strange how easy school comes for that kid, both his dad and I had to work hard to graduate. I have not had to help him with his homework since first grade really. It is weird that Anthony and Colton can look so alike, think so alike, enjoy the same things, but be so vastly different. Each year the teachers tell me what a hard worker Colton is, that he shows such great leadership abilities and he is the model student. (Some days I wonder where that kid is at home!) He is reading at a 9th grade level (if he could ever finish a book without getting bored half way through), but (shock of all shocks!!) he needs to work on his organization skills. If you have ever seen his bedroom it all becomes clear. I can't believe this is the last year of elementary school for him. I am not ready for him to be in Junior High next year, so much change. Selfishly I will miss those times when the teacher tells me how great he is. Of course I am completely biased and will always think this about each of my kids anyways.

Mariah, what do you say. I about fall off my chair each year when the teacher tells me what an easy going child she is. WHAT! Maybe they would like to be at my house each morning when Ms Grumpy Pants does not want to get up. Or when things are not perfect in her world and it is crumbling around us. Her teacher said that she is a great role model for her class. She is a hard worker, pays attention and follows directions like a dream. Her teacher said she wished of a class full of Mariahs (careful what we wish for). Funny the things each of the teachers would like them to work on are the same things we are working on at home. Mariah is (dare I say it out loud) a PERFECTIONIST, I am not really sure where this has come from. For sure not me her mom, I am both sad/happy to say. It is a long hard road for someone who believes everything in life must be perfect. Everyday we work on telling her that it is OK to make mistakes, that correcting the mistakes is what make us grow and learn. If you don't make the mistakes how can you be better at life. The funniest part is that she got the same speech from her soccer coach. He gets so frustrated with her when he can see that she is worrying about her every move rather than being involved in the game. I am so proud of how smart she is and how much of herself she pores into everything she does. The thing that concerns me the most with my little perfectionist, that she will worry herself to death and never fully engage in life. But that in itself is a lifetime project that we will work on everyday.

So after having such glowing moments in the conferences I am off to my car. Oops I forgot that I parked up the hill on the other side. So jiggling my purse looking for my keys, trying to call my kids back (of course they called me three times knowing that I am in the teacher conference, WHY!!! the house was not burning, and no stitches involved) and trying not to drop all the paperwork I switch directions. Never a good idea when tramping through the underbrush to not pay attention to your feet. Just FYI! Of course at the exact moment of my humiliation there has to be about 10 parents coming and going to witness my FALL. Yep, one of those frozen in moment times when you know you are going down but can't stop it. Out goes my right hand to stop all of me. Flying across the rocks and bushes goes my Glasses, my phone, my purse, my keys, all the paperwork. Rushing towards me are a couple concerned dads (very nice but even more embarrassing!) to help the klutz up.

If only at that exact moment the world would swallow me up. I reassure them that yes, I am fine, I can get myself up. Thanks so much for your concern. Gather my items, make mental note to self that I am now OLD apparently and more klutzy than I used to be, so don't be multitasking while trying to navigate the off road areas of school. On a light note there is apparently a bone in the pad of your hand under your thumb that breaks and does not heal easily. So now I may have to have an xray to rule out the break, when and if the swelling ever goes down! Funny little life. Always helping us out in those awkward moments.

Sk8tr

If it is not soccer it is skateboarding at our house. You have to love all the skate parks that are around our area. He is so determined to master what ever it is he is participating in. I love the intensity he brings to life.

I decided to enter this in Aimee over at Greeblemonkeys monthly contest. I love all the pictures that are posted. So many different views from all around.

Washing Machines

I am just going to start this post by saying I HATE LAUNDRY!!! Ok I feel somewhat better. My washer has been a good machine for almost 12 years now, but like all good things it is coming to an end. My washing machine has been acting a little strange lately. First let me say that it is located in the laundry room aka the garage/computer room, and once I have started the load I walk/run as fast away as I can. I try not to think about it till it is time for the next in a line of never ending loads.

For the past few weeks it has been doing some very weird things. When you start it on regular cycle it will end on the very last cycle which is delicate. At first I thought my husband (lol yeah right!) or (funnier yet!) my kids had been changing it. The spin cycle has been failing, so we have been moving the dial to get it to spin. Sigh, one more thing on the long needs list!!

To make a long and not so funny story short, my washer has been going through all three wash cycles for about a week. Can't wait for THAT water bill!! Now I have to wash all the clothes on delicate cycle or set a timer and run out to stop it before the next cycle begins. And let me just say the delicate cycle ain't much help if you have dirty stinky soccer clothes! It's either wash them twice on delicate or just let it go through all three cycles. I HATE LAUNDRY! My friend Carrie pointed out the this commercial on her blog with Kelly Ripa and the new Electrolux washer. It is now occuping my dreams THANK YOU VERY MUCH! That lovely aqua color, that was the color from our so 1988 wedding. Peach and Aqua all the way!

Hey, that is just the plan I can use. Dear Wonderful Hubby, if you please, please, please, with sugar on top! buy me the AQUA matching set of washer and dryer I will think of our wedding day each time I do our laundry. That is saying I can remember much from the wedding 2o years later!! Oh yes and please note the aqua colored flowers in the homemade (by me of course!) bouquet below. Gotta love the 80's!!

PUBERTY

OK, so this is not my first ride on the puberty train. I have already graduated one out and through it onto his own. It has been a few years though since I went through the beginning of it with my first one, but just like a bike you start to remember as you get back on.

The other night while my 12 year old and I were lying in bed watching TV (big secret but we like John and Kate plus eight, shhhh don't tell) he puts his arms up behind his head. And low and behold if he did not have a big patch of arm pit hair! How did that get there with out me knowing! All summer long I have not noticed this, I have noticed the change in attitude though. So not without some laughter I asked him "Do you have hair in other places?" He said MOM!!!!!!! Well......just making sure.... boys never tell you anything. My husband let me know that that is NOT something to be shared with moms, and my time is coming with the daughter.

This middle child may be my downfall. The first day of school the head PTA mom tells me that my 6th grader had his name on the school reader board. I asked how can that be on the first day of school? Apparently over the summer the school reader board was vandalized and the letters were re-arranged to spell out I LOVE COLTON D****. When I asked Colton if he knew this, he said his teacher had told him, but he did not know who would do that! Great! It is funny and strange all at the same time.

So our latest trip down the puberty trail has led us to THE BIG TALK. Don't get me wrong we have had many little talks. Colton is the youngest of a long line of boys brothers/cousins in our family. This time curious boy, 12 yr old puberty victim, is hanging out at the local skate park with a bunch of his friends and a couple girls. He decides to ask one of the girls older sister (hmmm my face is red thinking of this) what she would do if the said girl lifted up her shirt. The older sister being the good sister she is, did what she should have. She told her MOM!

So begins the phone calls between parents. Not the best way to meet a fellow classmates mom I must say. Luckily this mom is very nice with a teenage daughter and 3 more girls behind her. Our conversation went something like this...me -I am so sorry, that was so inappropriate for my child to say or even suggest.....her saying-She understands, she is experiencing the girl puberty and just wants to make sure that nothing inappropriate is going on...me-Reassuring her that it will never happen again and that a talk will be had. Ending the conversation on a nice note. I am thankful this is a nice down to earth mom who is on top of things with her girls. I really appreciate her following through and being so kind to me during this embarrassing parent moment.

So the beginning of the BIG TALK, in a long list of talks has started. We discussed appropriate questions. Respect for girls, how every girl is someones daughter/sister/cousin. Curiosity, and who it is OK to talk about these things with. (I can bet I am not the first on the list, but luckily for him he has his Dad and older brother and cousins.) The best part is that I know that he will come to me in times of need for other things if not for this one.

BIG SIGH, I am getting old now. I have another one behind him to ride the puberty train with, and a girl no less. HELP!!!!! I am just hoping that I make it through with all my senses intact.

Wine Country

I found this contest at Stop screaming I am Driving's sight last month and could not resist joining in this month. I am not the best of photog's but loved these pictures from our Wine Tasting weekend in Yakima. I could have stared at this view for hours, a glass of wine and a nice breezy day, RELAXATION.

Moving Out

So the big day finally came this month. I thought I was prepared, I knew that my oldest was working up to moving out, but really I was not as ready as I thought I was. My heart hurt when he told me they had found an apartment. All those months of wavering between I can't wait for him to move, to I never want him to go, came down to that one single moment when he broke the news to me.

It was so sweet when they found the place. My self assured kid who has the world by its tail seemed so unsure and young for just a moment in time. It brought me back to all those sweet times when I could make him feel better with my reassurance. It is scary to move out of the child comfort zone into the adult world. For just a moment I got to be the person he needed. The approval he was looking for. I miss those days as the kids get older. He actually wanted me and his dad to see the apartment before they leased it. It was such a happy/sad day!

The apartment is beautiful. I love his girlfriend (not happy for them to move in together, but what can you tell the 19 year old, believe me when I say he knows how I feel about it) she is a beautiful person and they fit so very well together. She makes him a better person in so many ways.

I can honestly say that I am so very proud of the person he has become. When Darrel and I went to see the apartment we also met the landlord. The landlord told Darrel how impressed he was with both of them. He said he was nervous when they said they were 19, but after meeting them and speaking with them he was so impressed that he let them rent without a credit check or references. The landlord just thought they were so well spoken and put together for such a young couple. Let me just say that my heart about burst with pride for that compliment. I worked hard on that kid and so far he is fantastic!!

Now the excitement has begun at our house. The younger two are sad to see him go and actually miss him alot. But now the room shift begins. We are limited in our space and need the room so I can have an office now instead of my bedroom. Colton is moving up to Anthonys room (the big room), which is going to be a challenge because he is not very good about keeping his room clean. I let them each pick a color for one of their walls, Colton has chosen fluorescent green! After we have made his big move we will paint his room and Mariah will move on up. Anthony was a little upset that we were moving so quickly, like we were going to keep his room empty and waiting for him.

Sorry Charlie but the world keeps turning around here and the move is on!!!

Look of Determination

Soccer Cleat Fiasco

Life is funny the way it works sometimes. Our middle son Colton is playing on a select soccer team the NW Nationals Blue team. In celebration of making it on to this team (about 70 players tried out for the A and B team this year) we decided to splurge on

new cleats. In our house splurging for us is considered spending $90.00. I know that might not sound like splurging to some, but for us that is alot, we usually try to buy the $40 or less shoes.

So Colton and I go to the Soccer store and spend (not kidding!) almost an hour trying to pick out just the right pair. Decisions, Decisions!! Finally, the perfect pair. Not to flashy, black and white Umbro SX. Colton is walking on air, so excited to have his first really nice pair of cleats, and no hand me downs!

Fast forward a couple weeks into practice. I am on a clean the closet binge, all old shoes are out. In the living room is a go to the thrift store box. I have not taken it to the collection box as I am still sorting out some closets. In steps help full husband, out goes the box, and somehow in the box is the brand new cleats (you saw this coming right!?!)

So 10 phone calls later, 5 trips to the thrift store, 6 different employees (that all know nothing!) and no cleats. Let me just tell you that the pre teen, pre puberty tween can be a little dramatic. Even the most laid back, no drama boys. So yes, this was a very stressful time. So upsetting, I just want to fix it right now. At my house though I don't just have $90.00 to go purchase a new pair, it seems like not much money, but some weeks it is enormous!! We opt to use the cheap pair till we can purchase another nice pair.

So two weeks ago we are at a soccer tournament in Tumwater (we won our age group! Woohoo!). At the last game was a booth from the local Soccer store with sales galore on shoes. Colton and I looked through the sales and found a pair that was super nice and in his size (hard to do, he is a men's 6.5). Great price, I am so excited. We purchase the new cleats and all seems to be happy in Colton world again.

This week help full husband moves the new cleats into the house instead of on the front porch. He and Mariah decide to go run errands for a little bit. Max the naughty puppy is left unattended (again I am sure you can see where this is going). Max is a chewer, he had a little snack. Coltons brand new cleats!! Wow, what are the chances. I can understand why Max choose the new ones, the old ones are PHEW!!!!

So back to the drawing board, I should say the budget board. These soccer stores must love us!!

There are many lessons to be learned in this fiasco........I am going to ponder them now, I think a vodka drink of some kind will be help full!

Bad Tuesday

Have you ever had one of those days when you woke up and knew you should not have gotten out of bed? That was the last two Tuesday mornings. I woke up and just wanted to stay in bed. Last tuesday work was calling me and so at 6:15am I hopped (well not really, more like dragged) my happy(un-happy) self out of my bed. Two steps across the room to my ball and chain ie: desk and computer. Plop myself down and turn on my can't live without technology. Only to have it refuse to log on! What! How can this be happening. It has turned on everyday for three years now with no problems what so ever.







I am not sure how within 7 years this thing called a computer has become a necessity instead of
a luxury, but it is at my house now. Especially seems I work from home and sign in on to this contraption everyday. Frustration does not even come close to describing the feelings I had at that exact moment. And I am sure the air around me was black with the words I had to say at that exact moment. So being the computer dummy I am I call my husband in a panic to see if he has any save the day ideas. He being the computer genuis he is says, nope sounds like your screwed!!





Screwed! That is how I am going to refer to Tuesdays from now on!




So to make this long story short, 2 days no work =2 days no pay = 1 soccer payment short this month. My genuis of a husband had to reload all my programs (bye bye 6 months of pictures and documents I did not back up!) Big THANK YOU to Carrie for saving the day with the cd of work
programs I needed. And finally thursday morning I was back in business to work again.







Whew! That was some major life drama and to top off the whole week my 2 youngest have come down with swimmers ear.





Life just keeps getting better! This tuesday the same feeling, pull the covers over head, do not get up. But nooooo! I do not listen to my self preserving instincts and up I go. Only to have one more great day!




Mid tuesday morning this week my middle child Colton, in a near panic waves to me to come quickly mom! Something has happened! (I love when they use those words in a panic!) So with the quickness of a mom starting to panic I rush to the front room to see the spider cracks going up the very large front plate glass window. SWEET!!! As the lines go further they look just like dollar signs......Next week I am skipping tuesdays all together!

Parent to a teen, WHY!!

Some days I wonder how my parents made it through 4 teenagers. I am only on my first of three and am questioning how I will make it to the next two. Teens bring you such a mix of feelings, from joy for the person they have become, to all out anger at that teen attitude. I feel everday that the saying - Teenagers are Gods way of preparing us for our children to leave home - is oh SO TRUE! Just an FYI God - I AM PREPARED (at least today at this very moment!)

For just a minute about a month ago my soon to be 19 year old son Anthony was talking about moving out with his girlfriend. Not the most ideal living situation, but it is so hard in this day and age to move out, and almost all of his friends are living with girls. So many feelings passed by, from that letting him go feeling, to feeling guilty for being a little happy, to that question of have we prepared him to experience real life. But then sadly/glady that balloon was burst, now he wants to save up money (a good thing) before he goes. As I watch all those many plans put to the back again, ie: move the other two kids up a room, to possibly having my own office/space... Oh well what is a few more months in the big scheme of things.

I just hope we can make it to the move out stage in one piece. I try not to make generalizations, so I will just say that my teenager is a know-it-all kind of guy. (Don't tell my husband but he come by it legitimately, wink, wink.) He would also like to be the boss/parent of his sibilings, even when we the parents are around. That is what happens when you are the oldest, there are 7 and 10 years between him and his brother and sister respectively, so he did alot of the babysitting. I find it amusing that even at these age gaps the arguments still happen.

Our latest argument (other than the everyday kind) is over our new puppy, who just happened to chew the seat off of the Anthony's jet ski.....Oops! Life sucks sometimes and things happen. While not the end of the world I am sure it seemed like it at the exact time for Anthony. Of course being mom I get the brunt of the anger, I do know why his Dad dosen't, but not fair!!! Sometimes I am an adult, and act accordingly,....but that inner child wanting to scream back pops out of me at other times. As I am sure you can guess, this is one of those times. I really dislike it when I let that happen, and always feel super guilty later (especially when I scream you can move out anytime!! and mean it at that exact moment!)

While this argument is still in the resolving itself stages, we have come to an agreement that neither of us will be speaking that way to each other again in that way (or at least try our very hardest). He will not make demands that we get rid of that dog right this minute! and will follow through with moving his jet ski out of the dogs yard. While I will come to some kind of arrangement to help pay for the new seat and keep my inner child inside where she belongs (at least for today).

Here is to another day in life, and teaching myself to celebrate making it through both the big and small things.